The moment you realise…

It's been over five months since the break up and I expected to be a lot of things - sad, angry, still reminiscing of the good old days, but I found myself in a quite different state of mind. I am currently in awe of exactly how much I am dissatisfied with my life (the romantic…

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You matter

Yes you. I know it is hard right now, unbelievably hard. Even getting out of bed is a struggle. Everything feels wrong, fake, empty. But believe me, you matter. You matter to your mum, dad, your children, sister, brother, boyfriend or girlfriend, to your friends, your dog, hamster, parrot or cat (even though he acts…

How can love die?

I listened to the radio the other day on my way home and a song "Camouflage" by Selena Gomez started playing. There were two lines which have been stuck in my head ever since: Remember when we'd talk all night... How can love die? This just keeps echoing in my head. I think it beautifully…

Tense Tuesday

I have forgotten to post this, not quite sure what happened, so... Here you go.   GOD, it is such an awful atmosphere at work these past days... Almost oppressive... Our boss is a bad example of what a manager should look like. The main problem? He is excessively egocentric and arrogant. His inability to…

Confused Thursday

Sooooo, it is one of those days... I feel confused as f*ck. I thought I had it all together (at least for now). I made the decision to not look for a new job right now and focus completely on myself and writing. I was okay with this plan for few days and now?! I…

ThrowBackThursday?

There are days like these when I just feel so weird. Like I don't fit where I am... Like I should be somewhere else doing something else. I have this strange feeling in my stomach telling me something is wrong, but I don't know what is it... On days like these I would give anything…

Another Monday

I have my ups and downs. I try to keep myself busy so that I keep my mind off things, but there are moments when it just doesn't work. I have quite a pleasant mood, I am going about my day and then I sit down and suddenly I find myself thinking about the past.…

Hey, Monday

I had to go offline for the past three days. I felt numb and I didn't feel like doing or seeing anything. Thursday evening I was with my two friends for the first time since the break-up. It was weird... I didn't know how to act or what to say. We had few glasses of…

Day 4

Day 4 - 14:44 I'd say I feel a bit better. I still can't stop the tears when someone asks about him, but I didn't have to run away to bathroom to cry today. I feel this deep sadness within me. It's not like I "only" lost my boyfriend, my partner, but I might lose a…

Day 3

Day 3 - 8:10 a.m. It's third day after the breakup. I still feel like shit. I haven't cried yet today which is an improvement. However, I somehow feel worse. I am sad. Maybe it would be better to say I have sadness, because it feels like something I have inside me. It fills me…